Everyone’s favorite mustachioed Italian plumber returns to the big screen in The Super Mario Bros. Movie. Except you might be better off staying home and playing your favorite Mario game than seeing this bland and uninspired film. With a nonsensical story, subpar humor, and a lack of character depth, this disappointing film will make great background noise for the little ones.
The story centers on Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) who live in the real world of Brooklyn. They are just launching their plumbing business when they get sucked into the Mushroom Kingdom and have to battle Bowser (Jack Black) to save the day. Or something. Honestly, the best part of the film was the opening scenes when it was more character driven and the pacing was good. As soon as they get to the Mushroom Kingdom the film falls apart. The filmmakers were so obsessed with cramming as much Mario lore, easter eggs, and references into the film that it causes the whole film to suffer.
Instead of letting the film be a journey for Mario and Luigi, it becomes a slapdash race to see what other Mario set pieces can be crammed into this film. Mario arrives in the Mushroom Kingdom and has to prove himself on a classic Mario obstacle course because why? Because it’s a Mario thing! They all have to race off to meet Donkey Kong (Seth Rogen) because of reasons! All of the monkeys in the Kong Kingdom ride around on karts because we need Mario Kart! The script feels backward engineered from Mario set pieces with filler in between to get us from one moment to another. It all flies by at a breakneck pace that barely gives us time to process or understand what is happening.
It’s a shame because I think there was a good story in there somewhere. Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) hints at a backstory that would have been a good emotional backbone to the film that is never followed up on again. There is a lot of moments like this in the film, where good idea fly by but then are never mentioned again. Mario and Luigi get separated and Mario talks about their brotherly bond but then quickly forgets about Luigi until it is convenient for the plot to bring him back. The Kongs agree to help the Mushroom Kingdom but it doesn’t matter because they all get captured. Just moments that could have been something but are nothing more than pushing the plot from one moment to the next.
Even the humor is sucked dry out of this film. What should have been slam dunks for set-ups are missed shots. All the jokes play to the lowest common denominator and miss. They feel like something written by an AI that watched way too many early 90s sitcoms. It’s boring, genetic, and disappointing. With an IP like Mario, there are tons of opportunities for self-referential jokes and fun to be had that are all missed. The humor is forced and often undermines serious moments.
That’s not to say the film is all bad. The animation is gorgeous and the world is a lot of fun to look at. Each frame is crammed with Mario images and items and seeing a lot of these things on the big screen is fun. The models for the main characters are taken straight from the games and seeing them is a little blast of nostalgia. Along with the score that incorporates the classic Mario themes. Heck, even Chris Pratt is fine. It’s just a film full of missed opportunities.
There seems to be a consensus that because this is a Mario property all of these things can be excused. But I don’t think so. It’s not a good film. It’s boring and lacks a cohesive story or emotional connection. Kids under 10 are going to love it but adults will be bored. It’s like the Minions but with Mario. I expected better. Just stay home and play some Mario Kart.
2/5